Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
by Claire Browne
PM = Processing Mutism
For those of you who have read my previous blog on My Autistic Experience of Processing Mutism (loss of speech due to excessive processing demands), I touched upon the fact that had I tried to force myself to speak in that school environment I could have experienced a shutdown. Luckily, this never happened as I was surrounded by support staff and teachers who understood and accepted me communicating in alternative ways. However, many members of the autistic community do not have such a support network or sufficient opportunities to understand their neurology and how they respond to stress (and if they do, it is often too late and followed by many retrospective ‘lightbulb’ moments!) Therefore, in this article I aim to explore the differences between PM and a shutdown including how exceeding capacity or (unintentionally) dismissing warning signs of overload can have significant consequences on the nervous system.
Some context for readers who are new to the term Processing Mutism, PM can be defined and presents as a long-term involuntary loss of speech/ability to communicate in environments where there is excessive processing load. This is distinct from specific experiences of overwhelm (such as shutdown – a shutdown can sometimes happen if overload continues, or you try and push past the already known overwhelm) which is explored below.
As discussed in my previous blog , PM was a form of self-preservation, an instinctive coping mechanism to protect myself from further overload. By being mute, my autistic brain could free up processing space for other demands including navigating the onslaught of unnecessary sensory stimuli, attempting to concentrate in class, and observing the chaos and conflict of everyday teenage interactions. But what happens if autistic people who are experiencing PM force themselves to speak?
The consequence is potentially a shutdown: a short-term internalised involuntary response to overwhelm which can present as:
- becoming unable to move/speak
- feeling dissociated or detached from your environment/yourself
- a sudden intense feeling of exhaustion and withdrawal to a dark, quiet room.
These are just a few examples of how a shutdown can present and due to the diversity of my autistic community, it is best to ask the individual what a shutdown means for them. For example, autistic blogger Emma Fox, articulates a personal experience as:
‘There is a surge of emotion that causes me to freeze. I feel completely panicked and don’t know how to respond. Even if I have thoughts of how to respond, I do not feel able to do so. It is if I am stuck, weighed down or tied to the spot. Everything feels heavy. I can feel detached from the situation. It sometimes feels like I am observing my own life, rather than being able to participate in it.’
To a non-autistic onlooker, this response can appear quite extreme but for the autistic person such overwhelm is a clear sign that they have been exceeding capacity for too long.
A shutdown is an example of the freeze stress response being activated as perfectly described in the quotation above or the flop stress response, where you disconnect . From an evolutionary perspective, this is quite useful (‘playing dead’) to become inconspicuous to an oncoming predator. Withdrawal from the world in this way is necessary, giving the nervous system vital time to reset. However, in my own experience, it can be quite scary as my motor skills are essentially lost, I can’t access mouth words and my ability to process language is almost absent. Due to voluntary motor access being lost, another way in which a shutdown manifests for me is through vocal/physical tics as my body and brain naturally find a way to externalise the stress and intensity of emotions trapped inside.
Fortunately, I rarely experience a shutdown as I can now choose not to put myself into overwhelming environments, (seldom are children and young people afforded this kind of autonomy) and I am well aware of the processing glitches that could precede them:
- Reduced ability to articulate myself
- Rising sense of immediate panic in chest
- Brain fog
I hope it is now clear that the internal experience of Processing Mutism is quite different to a shutdown. Despite this, the presentations of these experiences may be difficult to distinguish for the onlooker.
Having autonomy over our lives and an understanding of our autistic neurology is the first step towards reducing extreme stress responses like a shutdown. Sadly, this is so often not the case for many members of our autistic community who often feel forced to use mouth words when experiencing Processing Mutism because of internalised fears of rejection, masking (projecting acceptability), lack of acceptance/understanding from those around them or simply being unaware of their own needs. Therefore, in the event of a shutdown it is important to note that ‘it takes about an hour and a half to cool the brain down again and ‘switch back on’, given the right conditions. It can take significantly longer where conditions are not ideal, or where there are other factors that may exacerbate distress.’
Given the need for this recovery time, it is only natural that many autistic people report feeling drained and exhausted after a shutdown (often for days afterwards).
I hope this article gives an insight into why it is so important to understand and accept autistic experiences of Processing Mutism and the significant implications of exceeding overload.
References:
The Autisphere Blog: Shutdowns (January 2021)
Further resources on Autistic Masking:
The Autistic Advocate on Masking
Further resources on Meltdowns and Shutdowns:
Autistic Village 